Leadership Skills for Introverts and Extroverts

Sabrina, Vicki and Kym are together again for a rousing talk about leadership. Everyone becomes a leader somewhere in life! Whether teens are introverts or extroverts somewhere in life:

• Creating a welcoming culture in any setting (check out this HSHSP episode on Creating a Welcoming Culture)
• Helping out in youth group and clubs
• Being a good member of a co-op or group class
• Teaching Sunday school
• Volunteering
• Someday becoming parents and leading kids

Leadership is for everyone: extroverts and introverts. Charismatic people and quiet people. Everyone is a leader sometime!

Natural born leaders are charismatic. They walk into a room and just take over. However, most people are not natural born leaders. The problem is that lots of times in life, teens cannot sit back and wait for a leader to walk in and do the leading. Many times, there is not a natural born leader present.

How can we develop leadership skills for introverts and extroverts?

• Understand that each kind of leader is truly unique and that is wonderful!
  • Accept that you do not need to be an extrovert to be a leader.
  • Understand that you do not need to be an extrovert to be a leader.
  • Believe that you do not need to be an extrovert to be a leader. Catch that? 🙂

In a group setting, answer the question: What is the purpose of this group?

• Is it a relational or ongoing group?

  • This requires more dedicated work, of course, from introverts and extroverts.
  • Introverts and extroverts remember your non-verbal communication: Shoulder back, chin up, smile
  • Introverts: Acknowledge someone else is in the room, look at a new person briefly as they enter the room and smile
    • When you get a chance, notice something you have in common with the person, make a quick comment

• Extroverts, look over the whole room, enjoy it but then find one new person and say something personal to them

  • Extroverts often will automatically draw a crowd, so when you notice a person who is new and bring the crowd to them

• Parents can start out groups by acknowledging the purpose of the group and the expectations of the culture there

  • Extroverts often have a lot to say, so learn self-awareness and the purposes of the group. Remind yourself of the power you have to create good. Remind yourself, the group is not about them. It’s about the purpose of the group.
  • Extroverts can ask a question out loud to the group that relates to the group:
    • Who’s ready for their book report presentation?
    • Who else stayed up too late finishing their book report?
  • Introverts can ask those same questions to the person next to them. Either way, this is leadership.
  • In class discussion, everyone needs to take leadership momentarily:
    • Quiet people need to give themselves permission to speak up
      • Have I contributed lately? If not, what can I give to this group today?
      • If your homeschooler needs some skills to build their confidence, check out this social skills resource.
    • Extroverts need to create a pause and make space
      • When is the last time I created my own silence so others can speak.
    • Sabrina and Kym use poker chips in their group classes.
      • They give three poker chips to each student. The chips stand for a class contribution. Each person needs to say something in class discussion for each chip. They need to use all three chips (but only three chips).

  • Teachers:

    • Remind students regularly about the purpose of your group, the culture they are creating and expectations.
    • Watch students, the quieter teens have non-verbals to let you know they have something to say. As a teacher, you can pause and say to that student, “Go ahead”.
      It is okay to make mistakes.
    • Teach students piggybacking:
      • Yeah, I thought the same thing. Or that’s interesting you said that because when I read it, I felt just the opposite.
    • Rabbit trailing:
      • Allow it for a moment, then “can we go back to the topic we started with”

  • Wrapping up or ending a gathering

    • This is difficult for extroverts sometimes.
    • If a teen is a named leader they can say:
      • Okay, we have come to the end of our meeting. Let’s head outside and finish any discussions later.
      • Use alarms on phone to give a heads up that wrap up is coming, then another alarm to say time is up. Then say, “My phone is saying time’s up!”
    • Remind members of Go Do’s. It is another way to wrap up the meeting

• Is it a one-off situation?

  • Introverts can sit back and relax, then go home!
  • You do not have to talk to everyone in the room, but extroverts will love chatting with strangers.
    • Introverts might need to have a book and read, if long enough, comment on the other’s book. This gives an introvert connection, so if the other needs something there is already connection.

Have conversations with your teens about leadership in their various settings. They will enjoy their experiences more when they feel empowered to be leaders in any situation. Then be sure to give them encouragement for honest trying.

Join Sabrina, Vicki and Kym for this rollicking episode of Homeschool Highschool Podcast.

• Homeschool Highschool Podcast: Leadership and Followership Skills
• Also, Homeschool CPA Podcast: Knowing Your Leadership Style Makes Things Easier
• Soft Skills 101 Podcast: Learn Teamwork, Learn Leadership

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Leadership Skills for Introverts and Extroverts