By request: Protecting Mental Health for Teens during Crisis Times.
Protecting Mental Health for Teens during Crisis Times
Covid-19 has many people feeling anxious and even depressed. In my work as a mental health counselor, I have noticed that many teens and adults are struggling. Some may be affected by the stress of lockdowns more than others. Some teens are experiencing clinical levels of anxiety and depression.
What does it look like if a teen is struggling during a crisis time?
- Anger displayed in tone of voice, noncompliance
- Isolation (Even from the family – spending all their time alone in the bedroom, not engaged in digital social or only negative digital communities. Check out Leah Nieman’s website for help managing the digitial world and teens.)
- Peer and unusually high sibling conflicts
- Feelings of guilt or powerlessness
- Anxiety
- This can look like physical symptoms: headache, chest pain, stomach ache, difficulty breathing (some of which, unfortunately, look like coronavirus symptoms and frighten teens).
- Performance anxiety (more worried than usual about their ability to do well in school)
- Substance use
- Behavior problems
- Eating problems
- Seeking approval from adults outside the family
- Lowered self-esteem
- Feelings of abandonment or rejection
- Depression (sadness, feelings of hopelessness, lethargy, difficulty focusing, loss of interest in things that normally hold their interest, wanting to isolate, lack of appetite/carb cravings)
- Watch for suicidal or self-harm thoughts or behaviors
- Check out this episode of Homeschool Highschool Podcast for more on teens and depression
What can you do to protect mental health for your teens during these crisis times?
Parents can help their teens by:
Teach and practice the Four Things of Self-Care (we call this Psychological First Aid):
- Drink water (dehydration puts the body at risk and increases anxiety)
- Eat healthy foods (fruits, vegetables and proteins are the building blocks for neurotransmitter production and all that your teens’ bodies need to do)
- Exercise (burns off stress hormones, increases dopamine production – which improves the mood and energy levels)
- Proper sleep at proper times
- Check out this post about sleep deprivation and homeschooling
- Check out this post about sleep deprivation and homeschooling
- Teach healthy lifestyle habits with 7SistersHomeschool’s High School Heath for the Whole Person. As always, this text is no-busywork, adaptable to different levels and is full of practical ways to be healthy: spirit, soul and body. (We periodically update the links for those in the text, you can download these updated links in this freebie: Health for the Whole Person – Updates.)
Teach relaxation techniques such as deep breathing
- Here’s a how-to freebie from Vicki’s coaching website
Increased oxygen from deep breathing lowers stress hormones, improves immune system, and gives a feeling of calmness
Build new routines
- Routines often get lost during crisis times.
- It takes a while to discover a new normal so be gracious and flexible. Then, as soon as you can, help your teens find a new set of routines. Routines give a sense of security and the illusion of some sense of normalcy.
Find ways to make laughter happen
- Proverbs 17:22 says that a merry heart does good like a medicine.
- Research has backed that up. Laughter causes the release of endorphins which improve well being and reduce pain.
- Laughter helps the body relax.
- It may also improve the immune system.
- Laughter can also help reduce stress hormones.
- Proverbs 17:22 says that a merry heart does good like a medicine.
Provide art and music opportunities
- God gave us creativity as a way of improving our health
Get outside
- Sunlight provides Vitamin D which enhances mood and immune system
- Being around trees improves health (Koreans walk in the forest as part of their physical and mental health. They call this “tree bathing”.)
- Being near trees boosts:
- Mood
- Immune system
- Focus
- Sleep quality
- Energy levels
- Being near trees boosts:
Provide positive diversions and experiences
- Social time with positive friends and family (when not on coronavirus quarantines)
- Doing things together with family like cooking, games, puzzles, read alouds, movie nights
- Zoom lunches with friends
- Or Zoom school projects with friends
Find good deeds to do
- When life feels out of control, doing a good deed helps something feel under control
- Doing good deeds also improves health and well-being
Practice active listening
- Talk about it (allow him/her to tell the story of what happened or is happening)- MANY times!
- When they are telling you what is going on for them, just listen. Try not to:
- interrupt
- tell them you know how they feel (because you can guess how they feel but no one really, truly knows how their teen feels)
- instruct them that they shouldn’t feel that way
- start telling them stories about yourself
- Even when they are not telling you their feelings, listen actively to them
- Make eye contact while they are speaking
- Reflect back what they say (without mocking):
- “What I hear you saying is…”
- “So what you are feeling is…?”
Do not judge
- Teens’ feelings are their feelings. It does not help to judge.
Help them make positive predictions about the future
- Ask them what they would like to be doing five years from now?
- Teens who enjoy journaling, will benefit from the Might Best Possible Self assignment
Give hugs and physical presence
- Teens (like all children) need an occasional hug
Check out a podcast
- Build their self-esteem with this interview with our good friend, Anita Gibson.
- Get practical tips on Psychological First Aid in this episode of Homeschool Highschool Podcast!
Do not panic
- If your teens’ feelings are scaring you, take a breath, pray and clear your head so you can take wise action
Take seriously their concerns or feelings of danger
- Please do not simply hope their feelings will pass
- If they are having feelings or thoughts of self harm or suicidal thoughts:
- Text a Crisis Line
- Call a Crisis Line
- Contact a Mobile Crisis if your area has that service
Err on the side of getting help
- It is better to get help and not need it than need it and not get help
Seek help if it seems that the child is not bouncing back
Help them build self-confidence
- Check out this post on helping teens build self-confidence
Crisis times do not last. Unfortunately for teens, they have not lived long enough to know this. You can help them by practicing and teaching as many of these ideas as possible.
However, give yourself grace: if your teen is in a crisis time, you are probably in a crisis time also. The current COVID-19 crisis is scary. Remember that God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Be kind to yourself and that will give you more energy for kindness to your teens.
Also listen to this powerful interview with Kassandra Baker on the Homeschool Highschool Podcast as we discuss helping teens have a healthy relationship with food.
Finally, check out this interview with Melanie Wilson about handling screen time with teens.
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