This week on HSHSP: We Don’t Mom-Shame on the Homeschool Highschool Podcast. This post is running concurrently on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.
Join Vicki and Sabrina, together in the same room for this week’s episode! It’s been a while since they have found the time to get together, what with Sabrina traveling so much. Hey, if you need an inspiring speaker with a gripping story, contact her.
Mom-shaming is easy to fall into: When life isn’t working out how we want it to, it is easy to project our frustrations onto other (whether we know we are doing it or not). Then we begin to judge. Then we begin to correct others (whether they asked for it or not). Then we begin to fix others (whether they asked for it or not). That’s mom-shaming.
Mom-shaming is especially easy when we are on social media, because the barriers to slow us down are so low. That’s sad because when we mom-shame, we create a culture of fear.
We don’t mom-shame at 7Sisters or here on HSHSP.
Motherhood is all about guilt, so it is easy to feel guilty without our friends’s help.
We don’t mom-shame! With age we 7Sisters have learned a thing or two about grace and patience over the years (whether we asked God to teach us that or not). All our homeschoolers have graduated and we found that they all have different:
We could tailor their academics and extracurriculars into a box that some friend, some speaker or some publisher says we should use.
But tailoring our many kinds of kids into another person’s box is a destructive strategy.
Instead, we recommend that you look at each child. Ask yourself:
- What can you invest in them?
- What tools can you give them individually?
Then boldly begin to invest in your homeschoolers the best that you can, knowing that you will be good enough by God’s grace…but that you will need His grace.
In the early days of homeschooling, there were a few big voices (opinionated thought leaders who sometimes said that homeschooling needed to happen THEIR way). Now that we have the internet, there are not just a few big voices. Rather, there are many voices and a some of them will say THIS is the way to homeschool. They sometimes imply the ominous: If you don’t homeschool OUR way, you are dooming your kids!
The real truth is: Our kids and our families are on a journey of growth and discovery. Each journey is different. We need to be sensitive to the needs of each of our homeschoolers. That’s why we don’t mom-shame.
Remember: We invest in our kids the best we can but God is in charge of the outcomes. (Thanks to our friends, The Fletchers at Homeschooling in Real Life, for that quote.)
So, want our advice?
- Motherhood is all about guilt.
- We will never do good enough in our own eyes. We can do the best we can.
- The needs are infinite and we are finite, so we must daily go to HIM on how to handle things.
- Sometimes this looks like a programmatic curriculum or philosophy, sometimes it doesn’t.
- While each of us are individuals, we are also in need of community.
- We can be good sisters in community.
- When we feel the need to fix someone, pray first, ask a question…privately.
- A kind question, not a leading question, not a point-out-your-problems question
- If done in public, questioning is unkind and invites little but defensiveness.
- Ask yourself: What is my intent?
- Are you guided by humilty (beware of pride or fear on your part)?
- Look to be a sister, a support, do not fix your sister.
- Model this for your kids.
- With curriculum: You kid-shame if you have feel you “have to do it this way, kids, suck it up and just do it.”
- That could lead to shaping character that is harsh and rigid and teaching them to feel helpless and frustrated.
- If they are writing a paper with seven tabs open that do not have anything to do with. If they are clearly doing something wrong, it is a parent’s job to point that out.
- If they are struggling or bored, try something like this: “I see you are not liking Chemistry. What is not working for you?”
- Ask questions that show you care, you are curious about what is working and what is not.
This is why 7SistersHomeschool.com’s curriculum exists. It is adaptable, no-busywork to fit many homeschoolers’ needs. However, we know that it will not fit everyone because there’s not ONE right way to do homeschooling! (So, we have a money-back guarantee.) To help adapt curriculum to needs: In each text or literature/writing guide, there are instructions on how to adapt to various goals and abilities. Also check out the syllabus available for many of the texts.
We want you to feel more confident as you grow in God’s work in you and your homeschoolers.
Check us out at 7SistersHomeschool.com
Are you a working mom? This interview with Stacey Lane will provide some insight and encouragement.